Nervous breakdown

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The last thing I need is truth.
There's a saying, Ignorance is Bliss.
I've been in silence for too long,
My mind is beyond the secure gate of thoughts.
I'm contemplating too much.

I think I'm having a nervous breakdown.
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I've been battling with myself these days.
I've tried to sleep it off but the thoughts would
drag on, giving me sleepless nights.

I ask myself, what do I want?
What should I want?
God, what is YOUR best for me?!

I know for now, it's best to stay put.
But I think I need to escape till I collapse to a conclusion.
A solution, I ask of you Lord.

I beg for understanding at this point.
Patience, understanding, God.